well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
