how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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