she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
