My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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