You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
