I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
