i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
