"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize