with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize