ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
time to smoke my breakfast
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
