That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
