Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
