Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize