His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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