you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think a kid would responsible me up
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
