i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
