do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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