hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
