There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
