angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
