he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I need to wash the frat house off of me
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
