Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
