My nipple is on Facebook.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Randomize
