Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
