you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
