now i know why i became what i already was.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
