everyone is single if you try hard enough
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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