you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
