Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
