I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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