Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
