Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize