From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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