if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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