Tell her she can't have a vagina
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
