Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
