You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
