feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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