His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
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I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
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At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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