community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
