haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
