sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
