Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
