I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
