This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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