New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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