How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
