We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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