Farmville is her only friend.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
