Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize