I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
