Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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