I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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