why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
