Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
