I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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