you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
