if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize