if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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