She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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