in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
