Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
