I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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