You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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