He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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