Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
