what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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