she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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