i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
