He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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