I got chris browned last night
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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