His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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